Opposition

Yesterday evening I had some strong depressed feelings. I was looking at pictures from my mission with the kids and for some reason that spurred those feelings. My mission was very difficult and I regret how I dealt with other elders that were not wanting to work etc. I was dedicated but I think I missed the opportunity to reach out in more love towards everyone, including missionaries. I worked hard but I could have been a better servant. I read in 1 Nephi 15:6 says “after [he] had received strength [he] spake unto [his] brethren…I read Sunday in 1 Kings 19:4 Elijah is fleeing Jezebel, after he called fire from heaven, for she has vowed to take his life. In this verse it sounds to me that Elijah is down or depressed. It reads, “But he himself went a day’s journey in to the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers.” I think he is tired, worn out in the service of God and his fellow beings. Then the Lord encourages Elijah and he finishes his mission. It is a natural thing to feel down and discouraged in the service of God. It is not an easy work and rarely are our efforts fruit-bearing according to our timing. It takes concerted, diligent effort. After those we work with start to catch the fire of the Spirit the work is not done. Opposition comes and we are called upon to give even more to help them. The work of God is never ending (Moses 1:39). Yesterday evening, as I was pondering my mission, I looked back on my years of college life and family life. It has been a joyous experience, especially since getting sealed to my wife. Our children are wonderful. They come with all the challenges expected, but they bring so much of joy and happiness. I laid down by my 2 year old last night and listened to him chatter to me and grab my hair while he sucked his thumb. I do not believe it gets any better than this.
Another thought I had as I pondered these verses. It is okay to rest. The Lord does not expect us to run faster than we have strength. Nephi said he waited until after he had received strength before he went and kept working with his brethren. Timing is important. Timing for others and timing for ourselves.